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Showing posts from August, 2016

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Honey Sunshine Chai Tea Warm Milk

I Love You All

For those of you who aren't completely sure what my YouTube Channel is all about, it is a place where I come to speak of many things. Almost like my blog! But now you all can really meet me! No, this channel will not replace my blog, as there are some things I'm just not ready to open up about on camera, but feel safe to do so here. (And I appreciate that, guys. So thank YOU).
Anyway, I am trying to inform people about mental health; specifically Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and once I learn more about others, I'll share those with you too! I also wanted to make sure that Mental Health was not ALL I spoke of...
I wanted to talk about new motherhood, being a birth mom vs. being a step mom, staying positive, being a good person, staying strong, and probably rants as well, because let's face it, I have shit to talk about.
So yeah, sounds a lot like my blog right?
I am not entirely sure where this YouTube Channel will head. But I DO know that it will head somewhere great.
And …

Strength & Understanding

Whenever I go through my old journals, the ones I have had since 4th grade and above, it makes me feel like I've lived forever.
You know how people say, "I think children should go through hardship when they're growing up, because it makes them stronger people"?
Okay I can understand that, I DO understand that! But really, do children really NEED hardship? In order to make them stronger people, capable of handling life and people, and society?
I talked about this yesterday with M.
For me, going through the things I went through as a child and a teenager, definitely did make me who I am. Obviously. That's how life works. But there's more to that!!!
And I am one to understandpeople better, I am one to help people more because of that understanding.
Honestly, I don't think if I hadn't of gone through life the way I did, that I'd be good at understanding other people and the things they go through. Understanding.
Like a therapist who has never been t…

Welcome My YouTube Channel!

Alright, so I did it. I am a new YouTuber, so why not show me some love and check out my channel! Subscribe and share too if you're feeling extra love-y today (;

YouTube Channel: Bella Ezra

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

And I used to think she was beautiful. Wanted to make her proud. But now all I see are the demons inside her. Her hateful gaze, igniting every single cell of my being on fire. Her strong legs, her flying hair, her cruel words slithering in my mind. I was entranced by her delicate, intricate web. How it seemed to sparkle in the dark. And just like that, she killed me. Sank her fangs into my fragile soul. Sucked every ounce of hope, the fierce love I had, and all that was inside of me, right out. Laughing while she did it. Her beauty is nothing now. I'm tired of trying to make her proud. When her name is spoken, I feel like dying inside. She makes me feel like dying.

Too Bright To See,Too Loud To Hear

This music video is still so beautiful to me from the first time I ever saw it in December of 2010.
Gives me chills. And it's pretty rare to find music that talks to your soul, makes you feel.
This is one of them. I'm not gunna lie, the first time I saw this music video, I cried. And every once in awhile when I actually feel like listening to Underoath, and this song comes on, I still cry.
Enjoy...



Good God, if Your song leaves our lips If Your work leaves our hands Then we will be wanderers and vagabonds They will stare and say how empty we are How the freedom we had turned us up as dead men
Let us be cold, make us weak Let us because we all have ears Let us because we all have eyes Good God
How they knew that this would happen' They knew, they knew that this would How they knew that this would happen' They knew, they knew that this would
(We're so run down) How they knew that this would happen' They knew, they knew that this would (We're so run down) How they knew that thi…

Don't Tease Me Like That!

I keep seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But the further and further I walk, the more I just feel like it's getting further and further away from me.
And I have moments where that light seems to become a little bigger, and a little brighter. Then, almost as if it knows I'm trying to grasp it, it moves back. Slipping further away in my vision.
I'm gasping for air. My muscles are tired. My eyes are weak from the constant squinting.
I'm scared of the dark.
Is that something to be ashamed of?
When I try to be brave, it all blows up in my face.
I just want to be brave. I just want to be strong. I just want to be happy.


The Tears Are Not Worth The Wait

Current Mood:


I've got a friend with a melody that will kill
She'll eat you alive
Like cyanide... it's poison
She'll eat you alive
Don't you battle we'll kill you
We'll rip you up and tear you in two
Don't you battle we'll kill you
We'll rip you up and tear you in two
Don't you battle we'll kill you
We'll rip you up and tear you in two

Only in the sound of the voices I scream

I heard my name
Now I'm gone
Tell me what I did
You saw me standing on my lone mountain,
Dare me play
Not to put it off
The tears are not worth the wait
Your loveliness
Is so worth it (so worth it)
You're another one
In a long long time,
Wrestling people for peace
Wrestling people for peace

Only in the sound of the voices I scream
Only in the sound of your voice did I scream
Only in the sound of the voices I scream...

I make room for everyone
I make room for everyone
I need to take a break!!!

Do you wanna look in my mind,
Open up and see what you find
Holdin on to just what I wanted

It w…