Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2020

Featured Post

Honey Sunshine Chai Tea Warm Milk

Sorry, I don't dance

It started with a bursting flame And ended with a knife hidden under the mattress A forbidden kiss that sealed our fate A fear that turned my blood cold He was filled with darkness Though he shone like porcelain Was this love, or possession? Was this fate, or trap? Did I stumble into his arms? Or did he place the wire? He was life and life was he Nothing else existed I danced around him forever Like the Moon dances around the Earth But he told me he didn't dance What a shame it is to put such strong legs To waste * * *



Fear Inoculated

Today I want to talk about "doing the right thing." You know, that certain feeling you get deep inside that's pushing you towards something. The  right  something. I think a lot of the time, we repress that feeling. We try our damnedest to push ourselves towards the something we  think  is the right something. We sit there and pretend, with our tongues held in place, because we don't want to disturb "the peace." We come up with every excuse in the book as to why we think the  real  "right something" is  actually  wrong, and we find ourselves dancing this unnatural tango trying to convince others that your  wrong  something is actually the "right something." Can you understand what I'm saying here?
It's our fears. Our apprehension to change. And, God forbid, that change  actually  be TRANSFORMING and POSITIVE! Right? Why do we sit in fear that going after something is bad? Why do the negative thoughts come into play here? 
Do you kn…

The Wrong Equation

Let's see, last we really  talked, I was seemingly a diagnosed bipolar mother who was struggling to figure out medication, love, family, and sorrowful past. Let me tell you though, there was something buried deep within me that I did not show to any of you. In fact, I found out in September of 2017 that I was not bipolar at all. That everything, every  single  little  detail  of pain and chaos was not due to a mood-disorder at all, but due to an underlying trauma that I refused to acknowledge or accept. I was the one who suggested to my doctors and psychiatrist that I was bipolar. 
Now you may ask, "Sage, why on Earth would you want to be diagnosed with a mood-disorder?!" To which I would reply, "I needed an explanation."
In that time of my life, when everything was anger and pain, when I couldn't see past my trauma, when the trauma was screaming louder than my own thoughts, I needed an explanation. I needed the solution to the equation.  If X + Me = Suffering, …

A New Beginning

Hello World,
I am back to the bloggerverse after a wild almost  three years time...
I know, I know, I left without any real warning. I turned the site to private and didn't renew my domain, well honestly, because I didn't have anything to write. And more  honestly than that, I felt like I was not allowed to write anything. More on that in another post.
2017 was a whirlwind of complete chaos. There was SO much happening, I couldn't even begin to think of one simple thing to write about. 2017 was my rock-bottom. 2017 needed time to decompress. And if you couldn't tell from my latest posts in 2017 I was not in the best head-space. Luckily, life is very different now. Life feels A LOT lighter, even given the circumstances of the world today. Selfishly, I'd much rather be here in the year 2020 than have to go through 2017 again.
But that's just me.
Anyway, I wanted to come on here and play on the blog again. I will make a more detailed post about life in the next one I wr…